SAINT RAFAEL GUÍZAR Y VALENCIA, POPE JOHN PAUL II, SAINT TORIBIO ROMO, THE BLESSED VIRGIN OF GUADALUPE

(A few days before Father Jesus Resendez answered my email—the TV reported that a convoy of about 20 armed trucks assaulted the policemen on night duty and beat them up—between 1:00 am to 3:00 am they hit all three towns of Tabasco, Jalpa and Huanusco).
Fr. Resendez writes: May the Lord grant us his Holy Spirit so that we can know His will. We are indeed living in very painful times, but we live with the conviction that nothing ESCAPES THE PROVIDENCE OF GOD. In His goodness He knows our problems. In fact, this whole situation of violence in our towns will only draw us closer to God and help us to grow in sanctity as He uses this opportunity to “prune us” a bit.
(Fr. Resendez is a good friend and lives near Huanusco. He is the pastor of the church in the town of Jalpa. I emailed him and told him that no one from Huanusco had written to me concerning my stay there in mid-April).
He writes: In reply to your problem about the lack of response from our people in Huanusco and about your community’s Project and Mons. Soto’s ideas—well, that simply confirms the fact that it is not easy to find the answers you are looking for. Continue to ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.
This is an invitation for you to a hope that relies on the certainty that God never will leave us alone: "I will be with you every day..." He is faithful to His promises. This reminds me of the apostles who throughout the night had worked tirelessly and had caught nothing. When dawn arrives Jesus appears to them and points the way saying: "Throw the net to the right." So they did, and found a lot of fish. After this period of darkness, Juanita, the Lord will show you the right way and share His new life with you and your community.
We have some great saints: SAINT RAFAEL GUÍZAR Y VALENCIA, Bishop of Veracruz. He had a wonderful missionary and pastoral spirit. He was born in Michoacan. Mexico and was the first bishop of Mexico to be canonized. I recommend that you read a little about his life and ask him to intercede for you so that you will know God’s will in this search. We also have the great news of the beatification of POPE JOHN PAUL II! And, you have the help of all the Mexican martyrs, in particular, the patron of migrants: SAINT TORIBIO ROMO. But, don’t forget the Mother of the Church, THE BLESSED VIRGIN OF GUADALUPE who will never abandon us. Call upon their help.
Sister Juanita, all I know is that something good will come out of your attempts to serve our Church. Remember the five loaves and two fish that the young boy provided? It took that little bit to satisfy a multitude and the Lord will know how to multiply your efforts.
I will fulfill your request for prayers.

The first month of the new year--January 2011!

I have had great examples of how this New Year ought to be for me. Jesus gave me His Holy Name as my name—I am Juanita, of Jesus! He has shown me that in my own baptism the gates of heaven have opened for me, the Holy Spirit has been given to me and has called me His beloved daughter.

He has given the example of many Mexican saints and of a brave Chilean girl, Laura Vicuña; of St. Paul-the first hermit, St. Anthony-abbot, Sts. Fabian & Sebastian & St. Inez, martyrs. He also gave me the example of St. Francis de Sales, spiritual director & founder. And, if it that was not enough He gave me the example of the conversion of St. Paul and his follow disciples, Timothy & Titus. He also gave me St. Angela, St. Thomas Aquinas and St. John Bosco as examples of great educators. Do I need more?

Yet, I continue to be weak, whiny, complaining, lacking in a solid prayer life! Oh, how patient my good Lord has to be with me! My desire, Lord, is to simply allow You to love me and make me your own. I want nothing else.

I love Sundays!

I don’t get much sleep at night but especially on Saturdays because the girls who work here go out after their duties and they come back late in a not too quiet manner. So, on Sundays I want to sleep in rather than to go to 7:00 a.m. Mass. Also, there is a resident who cries out loud, “Let me out! I want out!” When no one comes to let him out at 2 or 3 in the morning, he proceeds to bang on his bedroom door. I can turn it off and go back to sleep but not really.
This Sunday morning was no different. I was awakened around five and that was it. I got dressed and left for Mass downtown. It takes me about 15 minutes at a fast pace to get downtown. On Sundays businesses are closed and I have the streets to myself. Downtown is a different story. Vendors are getting the street carts all ready and the pot-belly stoves are going.
I end up always going to the cathedral. It is so nice and orderly there. It is not fancy. The benches don’t all have kneelers. The altar decorations are simple. Lectors, offertory people, musicians, MC’s, altar servers, etc. are all organized and well trained. No Extraordinary Eucharistic Ministers, however, and no one receives Communion in the hand. The young priest is a super homilist! Today was no exception. He just grabs unto our hearts. I continue to remember his sermon all week…and I even share it with others. He said that none of the gifts we have has been given for our use.
Two days ago I was so discouraged concerning this entire process of spending a year here in Mexico. I had heard on the morning radio news that a 20 truck convoy had landed in Jalpa, Huanusco and Tabasco in Zacatecas and had rounded up the night policemen and had beaten them. They took 5 policemen with them; the others were left for dead. This happened between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. When, Lord, will this violence end?! I was so saddened by these news. Huanusco is the little village I will be serving as pastoral minister during my last 4 months here. Nowhere is it safe!
On Saturday I went to Mass at Santa Ana, a Redemptorist chapel nearby. I was asked to read the psalm during Mass. “You have the Words of eternal life!” (Remember Peter’s words to Jesus when Jesus asked him if he also wanted out?) The alleluia verse: “The Lord has sent me to bring the Good News to the poor and to announce liberty to the captives.” The gospel was the call of Matthew—“Follow Me.” Gosh, darn! Why does God have to speak so clearly? That was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted Him to say, “I know this is too hard for you and I can’t ask of you such big, difficult things…in a land so threatened by violence!” The priest’s sermon was about giving God whatever percentage…depending on our response to His grace. Some can give 20, 30 or 100%. I am to become a disciple of Jesus and then move on to be His witness and then on to become His missionary! I cannot be a weak missionary. I have been given His strength! He has nourished me with His own Body and Blood. He has shown me that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
Today, Sunday, I went to Cathedral of the Assumption of Our Lady and heard another good sermon. The priest started with a story about a woman who sold apples while sitting on the sidewalk of a very busy street. She sat there day after day…sold maybe a kilo or two of her apples. One day a man who had purchased an apple from her before said to her, “Here, let me help you sell these apples because I know you have a fine product here.” He shouted out, “Come and get your daily apple here! Great, fresh apples for sale! Look at these amazing apples!” etc. Well, before long the lady had sold all the apples. The priest said, “We happen to have awesome Good News to share, but we are not doing a good job of sharing. We are keeping it very quiet!” His sermon was filled with other dynamic antidotes and they all hit the mark, for me.
I am now to be, not only a disciple, a testimony, a missionary, but I must also have Jesus’ bright shining light to attract all the people to Him! Not an easy task, this new evangelization…under the shadow of San Juan Diego, the humble servant of Our Lady! This new evangelization has to be a message of hope and love that goes beyond this space and time…the Message of Jesus Christ! Not an easy task but it can be done a breath at a time…it will take me a lifetime of blood, sweat and tears, but I can do it if I run ahead on the wings of His Love.
(Photo of Mons. Antonio Soto and some scenes from near Huanusco, ZAC.)

La Casa Hogar--La Paz

Sometimes it is so sweet to help feed an elderly person—one who is totally incapable of feeding herself. I started feeding her usual bowl of steaming hot beans, a couple of tortillas, her coffee with milk and her smashed-to-a fine-powder pills. The girls who work in the dining room brought a bib and put it over her head. The lady sat and waited so I saw her and went to help feed her. She is bent over. I break her tortilla in pieces and drop the pieces into the bowl of beans. We proceed. Eventually two girls did come over and just stared at me feeding the lady. I let it be for a while but then I said…as if the lady herself was talking… “What are you staring at?” Then I said, “What’s up?” I told the lady to wink at them. She did! The girls started laughing so hard. The lady kept winking! She would make a huge effort to lift her head up a bit and wink again. It was so funny!
One day about 4 or 5 guys were sitting right by my bedroom door. There is a breeze way or corridor with some benches. All of these guys were sitting there saying nothing. I walked up to my door and one of them (the lot had fallen to him to ask me) said, “Say, lady, would you be willing to give us some money for a little refreshment?” There is a little candy store at the entrance of the nursing home. They can get pop, candy, cookies (“chitarra” or junk food). We were told not to give them any money otherwise they will not be hungry for their meals. Oh, gosh, darn!! They love their bottle of Coke!
One of the guys (a real con artist) tried to sell me a 2001 magazine. He said, “I’ve saved this magazine for a long time for just a person like you. You speak English and this magazine is in English, so…therefore, you should take it and give me the money you think its worth.” He was so disappointed when I said I did not need a magazine which was advertising homes for sale. He didn’t get any money.
A lady, with all her wit still, told me that she has noticed that I go to each and every table and greet the folks, help feed them and straighten their bodies when they are slipping down their wheelchairs, etc. She said, “I think you should stay here. Do go to any other place. You are needed here.” Ah, so sweet!
I get sad when I think of my own end-of-life days. What’s going to happen? How am I going to be? But, I guess no one promises me a long life. “Maybe I’ll go outside and get run over by a beer truck!” That is an inside joke from Spokane! I love these people here. I love watching them pray in the chapel. There is adoration of the Blessed Sacrament daily from after Mass until 1:30 p.m. and I help wheel some ladies there after breakfast. They are so darling. They are wrapped in their fleece blankets or shawls and they sit there looking at the Blessed Sacrament…who knows what they are saying to our Lord. But they look like little doves…they “drink” from the well-springs of life and then they look down. Soon, they look up again and the process is repeated. How I wish I knew what they were thinking and saying! They are God’s gentle little doves.
Pictures of Lupita (holding up a picture of her Mom)came from Acapulco. Picture of women's dining room. (Pinata from Christmas still hanging from ceiling.)

Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord

I wanted to go visit the Iglesias de la Soledad y de San José near the cathedral. I got up around 6:00 a.m. and did a lot of preliminary stuff – my Dad would have been angry with me for doing my nails and polishing my shoes on Sunday! Anyway, I left around 8:30 to walk to San José first.

As I hurried down Calle Sóstenes I heard a screech and a bang. A man and woman riding double on their bike were hit by a car. The white car took off. The woman was still lying on her husband’s leg and they both looked hurt. I raised both my arms to stop traffic. It was in one of those funny intersections that have like six entrances. Everyone stopped and the other bikers and other taxi drivers all came out to help them. I found out later that a shop woman stopped the driver and told him to own up to the hit. They lifted the woman up as she was crying out in pain. A police pickup truck finally came. They spoke to the man in the white car. He claimed he was not driving. He said the driver was tending to the woman. I gave the hurt lady 50 pesos for the taxi to take her to the church. She and her husband were concerned as they were to be Eucharistic ministers at Our Lady of Soledad Church. Oh, boy! They were more concerned with their duty to the church!

I left them and got to Mass at San José. I prayed for the two people. The church was packed. The priest was awesome. His sermon was great. I stayed afterward and told him he deserved a 10!! (That’s an A+ here!) In his sermon he asked if we could remember our own baptism day. He explained that there are three happenings at Jesus’ baptism: the skies opened, the Spirit descended and the voice of the Father was heard. Father asked us to repeat those three things. (I liked his style—that’s the way I teach!) He said that the very same thing happened when we were baptized! The doors of heaven opened for us because it is our true home. The Holy Spirit was given to us and the Father adopted us as His children and we are His delight!

He asked the congregation if they remembered his sermon from last week. A few people nodded “yes” and so he asked, “Can you summarize what I said?” Oh, boy! Everyone sank down in their pews. He laughed. He re-told the story. “A woman dreamt that she had died. The angels accompanied her into heaven. She was glad to enter heaven. The angels offered to escort her to her room or her house. The first house was made of gold. She thought it was wonderful. However, the angels told her that was not hers. That house was for people who had been friends of God…who spent time with God and always put God first. The second was made of beautiful strong marble. She thought she could take that house. But that was not her house either. The angels told her that that house was for people who had done great deeds, lots of acts of charity in God’s Name. The third and final beautiful house was made of glass—a beautiful crystal house. The angels told her that that house was for people whose intentions were very clear—there was no duplicity in their hearts or thoughts or actions. Finally, the woman saw an old shack which had a bad odor and very poor building materials. The angels told her that that was for her. She couldn’t believe her eyes! The angels told her that that was all she sent for the building of her heavenly home. She had been selfish in her deeds, her spoken uncharitable words, had been unjust, had watched bad movies and had never concerned herself with others…not even her own family. The woman woke up from her dream bathed in her own tears. Shortly after that, the neighbors noticed a huge change in the woman. She was busy going about doing good and she always had the Lord with her.
Neat story, huh? Father told it so well. At the sign of peace many little children went up to him to give him the sign of peace. He seemed loved by many people…young and old! Ah, nothing like a good Sunday liturgy!!

Back to the couple on the bike, I decided to stop at Our Lady of Soledad Church. I asked the sacristan if he knew anything about the couple who had obligations to serve as Eucharistic Ministers at the 9:30 Mass. He smiled and said, “The couple is being checked out at the hospital as we speak.” I asked, “Do they know who hit them?” He smiled again and said that one of the priests had hit them. Oh, my goodness! He said that he had stayed with them the entire time and had brought the bike to the church and had taken them to the hospital. As far as he knew, the couple was fine. So was the priest. Well, the couple will be in some pain and a bit hesitant about riding double on a bike again, but all is fine. Thanks be to God. Thank God that no other car was following that close to have gone over the poor couple. God is good all the time.

Tomorrow I go to the capital city of Guanajuato to try to renew my permission to stay for another 6 months in Mexico. They can only give permission for 180 days at a time.

By the way, after church today I stopped at the city plaza to read my little booklet that I purchased at the bookstore. I also wanted to do some people watching. A feeling of pure joy came over me as I was sitting there. I was enjoying the people, the buyers and sellers, the traffic, the color, music, church bells tolling, the sounds of people laughing…. I decided that maybe I was “home”. They say that home is where the heart is so, maybe my heart and I are in the same place. The cockroaches back at the convent…well, that’s part of being in a different temperature zone and accepting life as it is where I am living! Guess what the dictionary says about cockroaches: a nocturnal insect with a flat oval body, long antennae, and chewing mouthparts, some species of which are household pests!!

Adjusting to life in the Nursing Home

Well, today, Sunday, January 02, 2011, felt like a weekday as we got up early and the Sisters started the whole routine of getting the old folks up and dressed for 7:00 a.m. Mass. Poor people, they get up and run, run to get dressed and they are rushed into chapel. After Mass they run, run to eat breakfast and quick get them out to the porches to sit all day! The staff changes all the bedding daily: blankets, sheets, everything! They keep running but the old people sit. They get fed again at 2:00 p.m. and at 5:00 they get a snack and get put to bed by 6:00 p.m. There is no rehabilitation, no TV, no radio, no nothing. The folks who are ambulatory will walk around and around the long corridors.
This morning one lady decided she did not want to live anymore. She started shutting down slowly: no eating, no opening her eyes. Sister Ana Maria recognized the signs. After our lunch Sister left to go get her ready. My heart goes out to them.
The other four Sisters left to go visit someone and the director asked Sister Ana Maria to stay in charge of the home. Wow! Just like that. There was no discussion. The young, junior Sister who knows how to turn the computer on so that I can have wireless access left without turning it on for me. I tell you, there is no religious community on earth that is perfect! Sister won’t tell me where to turn it on because she said it was very dangerous due to the fire in the computer room they had not long ago.
I did laundry (on Sunday!!) and sat and embroidered my dish towels. I prayed this morning for a good while. I have the sample letter ready for the vicar here in Guanajuato. I need to email it to Sister Charlene for her approval…if only I had internet.

Third Day in Irapuato, Guanajuato—Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Vicar of Religious Life and a member of the Council for the Minimas of Maria Inmaculada, Sister Eva Josefina, came to see me. She came all the way from Leon, which is an hour and a half away from here. It was an official visit. She said that they had misunderstood me and my intentions for asking for hospitality. They understood me to say that I wanted a place to live and use as a base while I would go visiting other communities. Perhaps due to the Superior General, Sister Patricia’s illness (very aggressive cancer) her wishes have changed.
After I explained to Sister Eva Josefina the purpose of my stay she said that I would not gain any experience living in a residence for the poor and abandoned elderly people. This is not a nursing home as such. It is an asylum for people who are left here by relatives who can no longer care for their relatives. They have about 70 residents.
Tomorrow I will go visit the Diocesan Vicar of Religious Life. Fr. Carlos Hernandez Talavera, CSsR might have other suggestions. I had been very ready to help with the physical therapy of the residents here. I went with Sister Ana Maria and bought four huge balls to play “catch” with the residents. She bought a “crawling baby” to have the women play with the doll.
I think God has a better surprise for me.

Mid-morning, Thursday, December 30, 2010
We had Mass at 7:00 a.m. and right after Communion I ran to the Vicar’s residence. He had told Sister Mari-Paz, the Director here, that he only had a small period if free time at 8:00 a.m. I waited until almost 9:00 a.m. when he arrived. He is a very nice gray-haired young man. He wore jeans and a nice jacket. He greeted me cordially and ushered me into a parlor. I had the “Project Mexico” folder with an extra outline of our purpose. He said he would read it and share it with the bishop. He told me to relax and remember that I have 3 months in which to accomplish anything worthwhile. He reminded me that most people are on Christmas break and that nothing will happen until around the second week of January.
I returned to the “asilo” all happy. I stopped at the bakery and at a fruit stand and got the Sisters some fresh stuff. I am losing more weight here.
My computer was finally set up. A young man came to get it running and in our conversation asked me if I would be willing to teach him some English. He needs it for his job as computer store manager. I am finally going to answer my emails.
God is so good. He answers prayers in such “odd” ways and times. I continue to lack trust in Him—that causes me to have bad tummy aches.

Arrival at Irapuato, Guanajuato

We loaded my two huge, heavy suitcases in a small taxi right in front of the Casa Central in Zacatecas. I was glad that the Sisters had left early in the morning for their first day of congress talks at the Colegio del Centro in another part of Zacatecas. Earlier I had written a note on the board saying “Good-bye” to them all. It was hard. I was so nervous about starting anew in another town that there was hardly room available in my heart to experience the sadness about leaving my good Sister friends in Zacatecas who had grown fond of me and me of them.
A few days before the arrival of many Sisters from the different missions, we had all been put to work preparing the bedrooms: washing bedspreads, dusting, mopping, and putting clean towels, etc. in each room. There are many rooms in this house. Some have up to six beds but all have a full bathroom in each room. Most Sisters did not know who I was but they would greet me with a hug and kisses on both cheeks and a Christmas greeting.
I left the house at 11:15 for “la Central de Camiones”, bus station. My bus was scheduled to leave at noon. At 1:15 p.m. we finally boarded. I was planning to arrive in Irapuato (“Ira” for short) at 5:00 p.m. but I arrived at 7:30 p.m. The taxi from the bus station to the Casa Hogar-La Paz cost me $3.50 (35.00 pesos). The house was completely dark but one of the street gates was still open. No light at the front door but I found the door bell—switches are usually located high up the door frame. I rang and rang. Nothing. There was a man sitting in the dark on a wooden box near the gate and I asked him if he knew anything about the Sisters who ran the nursing home. He said, “Well, I know that they lock the gate at night. The gate is still open so they must still be up.” That gave me hope. I rang again and waited. Finally, an elderly Sister opened a little window on the door. I told her who I was and she said, “We waited for you all day.” I said, “Here I am!”
The Sisters were all in their dining room having dinner. There are 6 of them: Mari-Paz, the Director; Ana Maria and Aurelia, heads of the women’s wings, both young; Edith and Emily, both elderly; and Silvia, middle age, head of the men’s wings. They seem very nice. They wear a white dress with a full length white apron, blue sweater, white veil and white shoes. They are nurses, but the congregation has Sisters in schools and in parish work, too. The name of their congregation: “Hermanas Minimas de Maria Inmaculada”. They are celebrating their 125th anniversary this year. They have around 300 members scattered all over Mexico and Central & South America.
After a glass of water I was ushered to my bedroom. The room is right near the men’s wing. They keep the women completed separated from the men’s area. They even eat in separate dining rooms. My room is nice. It has a bed and a piece of furniture which is like a closet. Most of the room’s space is taken up by an enclosed room which contains a sink, a toilet and a shower head. I showered and the water splashed on the toilet and the sink. Oh, well! I keep the toilet paper outside the area. I am ever so grateful for my down pillow and blanket. The pillow on the bed was a huge, hard hunk of matted cotton. There was small blanket, too. I would have frozen.
Someone made a loud banging noise several times during the night. It was such a loud noise that it registered but I was so-o-o tired that I did not care. I asked about it this morning and they told me that it must have been one of the residents. No big deal. All rooms open to a patio with rose bushes which have all been trimmed for the winter and many palm trees and other exotic plants. Early this morning the hired help was mopping the corridor tiles. No unpleasant smells anywhere! Thank God.
I went to chapel for Mass on the Feast of the Holy Innocents and all the Sisters and residents sat for over an hour and waited for the priest who never showed up. The chapel is huge. The residents are invited to attend daily Mass. The Sisters pray Lauds at 6:00 a.m. followed by Mass at 7:00 a.m. I prayed to my heart’s delight but one lady kept saying in a loud voice, “Someone, please, get me out of here!” It was cold in chapel. The wheelchair residents are all bundled up and brought in to the front. The chapel is decorated with lighted Christmas deer and a crèche with Louisiana moss hanging everywhere. The director told me not to leave my books in chapel because the residents will take them.
The residents eat first and then the Sisters. The same food is brought to the Sisters in their dining room. I think you would all absolutely die if I invited you to eat in the Sisters’ dining room. When we turn the lights on, the cockroaches…all sizes and shapes scramble for hiding places. They are on the stove, inside the refrigerator—everywhere! The Sisters says that they’ve given up trying to fumigate them. The place is clean but the animals continue. Needless to say, I am eating very little.
The residents had a big bowl of beans freshly boiled, scrambled eggs, hot tortillas, a glass of orange juice, cold cereal and papaya and a cup of hot “café de la olla” which is coffee boiled in cinnamon water, with milk and sugar. Some women had to be fed. I helped feed some of them but I am now going to wait and ask the director first. The helpers are looking at me funny. They have a system. The help is mainly young girls who look about 15 but are probably 20 years old.
This morning I opened the door and went out the gate to find a store. There on the sidewalk were hundreds of baskets full of strawberries. I could not believe my eyes. Irapuato is the capital of strawberries in Mexico. I quickly took my camera and asked a man if I could take his picture. He said yes and asked me where this picture would end up. I told him I would take it to Oregon, another strawberry growing area. He said, “Take me instead of my picture.”
I left all my clothes hangers in Zacatecas so I headed to the market to buy new ones. They had 10 hangers for $2. I also bought laundry detergent & softener. I bought an extension cord. I wanted to get a mirror (no mirrors anywhere here!), a small lamp (they have sheer curtains in my room and with a big ceiling light I think people can see from the patio) but could not find those things in the market. I bought a small plastic stool to use as a bed side table. But,…in this market one can find fresh un-refrigerated meat and raw cut up chickens and vegetables but…it’s not a Wal-Mart like in Zacatecas. The odor can knock you over. I am not allowing those things to bother me. However, I was not able to connect to Internet either and that does bother me. Sister Aurelia and I could not get my computer configured to their modem.
It is nearly six. The Sisters gather in chapel at 6:00 p.m. and pray Vespers at 7:00 p.m. followed by dinner. At 8:00 p.m. they return to chapel to pray Compline and after that they retire. They sure pray together a lot here in Mexico! They have two long periods of meditation. So, their long 16 hr. days are from 5 a.m. until 9 p.m. Poor Sisters! These girls have no time for visitors like me. I feel sorry for them. Sister Ana Maria asked me to run to the drugstore yesterday where she went to “re-load” her telephone. They buy minutes…100 pesos gave her 400 minutes…that is $10. She is Americanized because she has lived in Arizona where they have a house of their Sisters. Anyway, all errands are “run here” or “run there”. I don’t see a car anywhere on their grounds.
Tomorrow the director will speak with me tomorrow to let me know what my “job” will be here.